


Alone

by Ashkela



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashkela/pseuds/Ashkela
Summary: The episode ended over three hours ago and now that I've recovered (temporarily) from the end, it's time to see what I can get down for those 18 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	Alone

Her birthday was hard.

***

Waverly's was harder.

Once her leg had healed and she'd realized that she was going to need to retreat to the Homestead, she took a drive to a big box store in the city and stocked up on survival goods, moving only under dark of night and utilizing the small out of the way back roads that she had learned first as a rookie, then later when driving all summer with Waverly. Knowing that It was better to run out of money than to run out of food, water, and medical supplies, the now-former sheriff accessed every penny she could and packed both the barn and a room... Wynonna's room... in the Homestead full of everything she could. 

By the time September and Waverly and Wynonna's birthdays came around, she'd fully settled in. For some reason, as the morning dawned on Waverly's birthday, she woke with a good feeling. She woke up earlier than usual, doing her now habitual checks of the various snares and traps she'd placed around strategic approaches to the house and barn. Each time she heard a small sound, she turned, eagerly awaiting the appearance of her love, her best friend, and her favorite gunslinger.

As the day wore on, she found herself alternating between being realistic and falling into a depression and being absolutely sure that she needed to prepare the Homestead for their arrival. She moved the supplies stored in the barn to form a nearly sealed room around Doc's former bed. She supplied the bed with thick quilts and clean linens, then moved a case of water within easy reach, leaving a few of the storage boxes open so that sustenance could be acquired. If she knew Wynonna, and she certainly did know her best friend, once everyone was reunited, the Earp heir would much prefer a retreat to the barn than to hear what was going to be happening inside. 

As for her... Waverly's room, she throws open the window, letting the autumn air spread through the room, filling it with the scents of falling pine needles and the promise of snow. She'd done what she could to take care of herself all along, but being alone for weeks on end had begun to take their toll. Once the room was aired out, she pulled out fresh sheets and a stack of Waverly's favorite blankets. 

She intentionally left the stack sitting on the chest at the foot of the bed, knowing that if indeed, today was the day her family came home to her, she and her love would have other uses for the bed than hiding under blankets to begin with. And if it was not the day, the layers upon layers of fabric were not something she needed yet. They could remain there, waiting at the foot of the bed, until she got frustrated or sad and put them away again. 

The one hopeful thing she forced herself to not do was to prepare food as if there were going to be three people eating instead of one. She couldn't afford to waste one iota of food just on the hope of their return. She pulled out a single prepackaged cupcake, reasoning to herself that if they didn't come home, she deserved the chocolate anyway.

They didn't come home by the time it was nearly dark and she need to go set the snares and alarms again so that she could at least attempt to sleep. Nothing dangerous, only noise makers so that she could prepare. She wouldn't risk her family coming home in the dark and being hurt. When she finally stepped inside and dropped the heavy bar across the door, she felt a wave of despair come over her the likes that she didn't expect to have happen. Not now. She stumbled up the stairs, fist clutching the packaged cupcake to crumbs as she crushed it without a thought, trying to contain her emotions until she was up safe in her room. 

The latch dropping over her... Waverly's bedroom door was the final straw. As safe as she could make herself at last, Nicole barely made it to the bed before she fell face down onto it, sobbing as though her heart was breaking, because it was. And even knowing that there was no more chance that the loneliness would end today than the next day or the previous week, she had somehow believed that the universe would be kind to her today. 

It took a long time for the tears to cease. She cried for the townsfolk who had lost their lives over the last six months. She cried for Doc, who'd risked everything to go after Waverly, despite having been told he was destined for hell. She cried for Wynonna. They'd only just begun to cement themselves as best friends, something she thanked the universe daily that she was able to say out loud, never having expected the beaming smile the words would result in.

She cried for herself, alone and scared, separated from all that had come to mean 'home' save this room. 

And she cried for Waverly. For the flirty, brainy, happy-go-lucky bartender who would probably never have discovered her nonhuman heritage if she hadn't met a sheriff's deputy with a Stetson on and the determination to make an impression. For the brave young woman who stepped into her own skin proudly, referring to the redhead as 'girlfriend' unprompted in a setting that had a stranger present. For the half angel who grew up surrounded by her older siblings being the ones who were destined for greatness, only to learn that she herself had the greatest and most terrible of all destinies. 

She cried because she did not know what had happened to the loves that she held dearest in her life. 

Four days later, she went through it all over again for Wynonna's birthday.

Two weeks later, a man stumbled onto the property, shouting and threatening her as he approached the house. He was dead before he got halfway across the yard. He wasn't the first she had had to kill in this manner. He would be the last for quite some time.

Stay safe, protect the Homestead. Be ready for them to come home. Tiny mantras she repeated to herself as she dug a grave out past the boundaries of the Homestead. As she heaved the dead body into a wheelbarrow. As she made her way to the hole she'd created. As she discarded the empty flesh of one who had tried to hurt her and her family. When she was finished, she turned her back without hesitation, trekking back to lay the snares and traps once more. 

The snow was beginning to fall with more regularity and she ultimately had to abandon her nightly ritual as it was too cold and the snow too deep for anyone to approach the house without a vehicle, and that she'd hear coming for miles. 

By the time Christmas came, she hadn't seen another soul for three months. She didn't bother preparing anything anymore. They weren't coming.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. Yell at me here or over on Twitter @KecharasMoon


End file.
